This is about the demons I face during my birth month. This last one was especially challenging for me. Lots of shit to deal with. Contemplating a lot of options, dealing with growing older, etc.
lyrics
My teenage years were my mid-life crisis/I'm twenty-five now and I can't seem to fight this.
Seventeen then wasn't seen as mindless/and now that I'm looking back on it, I value it priceless.
All I ever wanted then was just a beautiful girl/and since I got a steady woman, all I want is the world.
It's pitiful how I never feel I'm fulfilled/how I put myself in shitty situations for thrills.
How I'm lying to myself so I don't feel quite as bad/until I'm locked inside my room like I just fought with my dad.
Anxiety peaks between the time I've been wasting/while I'm drinking, only thinking about masturbating.
If I said I had the time, then I'd be labeled a liar/and if not the case I stated, then I'm much too tired.
Ten years ago a life like this was all that I wanted/now it's dreams of seventeen of which I'm currently haunted.
Went from no one to myself straight to my number-one heel/and still I have the nerve to tell myself it's not big deal.
Not within your sight can you yet notice that I'm frightened/blinded by the winding line of mindlessness behind me.
Shining like a light at night to find the spineless hiding/obviously obvious me, praying you don't find me.
And yo, even though my mind is my worst adversary/ I won't meet defeat/I will beat February.
Though everything I've seen in the meantime is scary/I won't meet defeat/I will beat February.
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